A Sprawling Answer

Hey gang! This blog is in response to another blog posted by a friend of mine. Her blog can be read here, along with a few of her other ramblings which are thoroughly enjoyable to read!

So, the basic question was this: Why are so many Mormons mean? The whole point of the religion is love, understanding, and compassion!

For those of you who don't know me personally, I am (dun dun DUUUUN) a Mormon.

(They're...they're everywhere!!)

I was born into a mostly Mormon family, grew up, went through my questioning phase, and after browsing my personal thoughts and feelings and the beliefs of other churches, I'm still filed under 'LDS.'

Now, I don't know how many of you have ever met a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (ie Mormons), or have lived in Utah, and to a lesser degree Idaho. But it is a true fact, and one I've had shoved in my face often, that those of Mormon faith can be kind of nasty when they're in packs.

In fact, I've encountered both sides of the nasty fence. I've been ruthlessly picked on because I was LDS, and have known people who were ruthlessly picked on because they weren't.

It's a sad fact! Those who claim to have the greatest love of whatever deity they believe in can turn around and be the meanest people!

But, I believe, therein lay the issue. No matter what a church preaches, no matter how wonderful the ideals are or how marvelous the people running the show are, the members are still (tragic music) people.

A person can be understanding, kind, sympathetic, nonjudgmental, giving, and all sorts of wonderful faith/trust/pixie dust kinds of things. But people? That's where fear, irrational anger, and bullying comes from. Whichever group has the bigger pack is generally going to feel every inch of britches that it has. It's a long standing tradition; minorities get picked on, and un-minorities are jerkwads.

Is there a solution to this? Sure. Persons need to prevent themselves from becoming People. Don't be sheep, bleating along with your fellows just because you all have furry butts. Don't be salmon, swimming right into a Grizzly bear's mouth just because all the other salmon are doing it. And don't assume that anyone else is exactly like anyone else, just because they share one trait, be it religion, sexuality, race, or taste in music.

People who come from a different background than oneself are the richest source of that special something that makes ones own world bloom into something new and wonderful. Shutting that out because you disagree on one thing is, for lack of a better word, dumb.

Well, I think that was a poorly constructed answer, but the point got across alright.

Now enjoy this video!

All Better (and Better and Better!)

Hello everyone!

So now, I'm almost completely over my sickiness. I feel way better than I did, and throughout the healing process I uncovered a lot of exciting news, and did some exciting things.

I'm tempted to list these from mundane to most exhilarating, but sorting them thusly would be...difficult. So I'll just shove them off of the diving board in my brain however they happen to line up.

I've finally made some more progress in Ze Book. I was having a bit of trouble for a while there, for reasons that sprouted entirely from my own issues. You know; go a few days without being able to make any progress, initiating a freak-out that maybe you can't do this after all, proceed to a few days of self-loathing for giving up so easily, and finally snap out of it after a cleansing venting session with a friend at work (Thanks, Roberta!)

So, progress is being made. Slowly but surely. Will I reach my goal of having a publishable book before the end of the year? Definitely. Will I reach my goal of "" before I start school in the summer? Eh...we'll see.

In a different creative vein, I've made these:

This, Ladies and Gentlemen, is Agatha Helmsley. She is the unbelievably efficient secretary to Counselor Jasper South:

who is a lawyer in a 1940's Southern town. He's very good at what he does, and sees justice and fair play as ways of life rather than just ideals. He often runs into:

Edgar Rhodes, an officer in the Homicide Division, and the long-time off/on/off/on/off/on/off paramour of:

Phillipa 'Phil' Innis, the southern private detective who is hired by Jasper, friends with Agatha, and the lead of 'The Phil Innis Adventures,' an audio drama which will hopefully be coming 'soon.' Meaning, of course, whenever I can get a few shows recorded and mixed, which is not happening with any amount of ease because my actors all have very conflicting schedules :)

The pictures I created with a vector program (my sister says I use the term 'vector' in a weird way, and maybe I do, in which case I apologize but don't really care) to be used as decorations on the eventual hosting website. They're not quite finished yet, but I wanted to show what I've been working on so it doesn't just feel like I've been futzing around on the computer :) I have plans. Oh, how I have plans. But step by step, yes?

So that's the news on my creative front.

In other news, I was driven to squealing like an idiot schoolgirl pig by this news: Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, my ultimate of ultimate favorite bands, is going to be playing in my state. The day after my birthday, at the end of this year.

SQUEALZMGEEEK!!!

So, I know where I'll be on December 15th. I've often said I'd give an arm and a leg (maybe not mine, but someone's) to see them live. Problem, is they usually play more in the Southern region (is that irony, considering my earlier southern-related stuff?). But now, here we are. They'll be just a five-to-six hour drive away. And no one need lose their limbs! YAY!

And, finally, the family vacation is coming up. Have I mentioned this? My dad and stepmom decided to round up the entire gang (that's...that's a lot of people, let me tell you) and foot the bill to get us all on a cruise to Mexico.

My jaw hit the floor. Did anybody else's?

I'm really excited about this. We have never, literally never, done anything as an entire unit. That includes: Mom, Dad, Stepmomster (loving nickname she came up with herself, by the way), Big sister, Broinlaw, Big brother, Me, Little brother, Little sister, Little stepbrother, Little sister.2, Little Halfsis, Niecey, Nephewpoo.

That's a lot of Brown/Henderson/Matelich, right there.

And between school, and work, and living very long distances away...this is quite possibly the only shot we'll have to spend this much time together. On a big fancy boat.

Coming this April!

Sick...

So, I haven't kept up on my mad posting output because I've been busy, and, well, sick. Bleh.

I'm behind on my book-writing schedule, and I really need to get back to my friend on this plot summary he sent me. But my head is killing me and I just can't focus!

And thus, I write this incredibly brief blog just to let you all know that I yet live, and to those of you who await responses to things, they are coming! I just don't want to sign my name on anything that's done...lamely.

-J

My First Consultation Commission!!

First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my older (hur hur) sister!! Sandi, you've long been an inspiration to me, and only get more awesome the longer I know you :) Keep on rockin', girl!

So guess what? I've been compensated!!

For those of you with a confused grasp on the word, that means that I've received some sort of payment for services rendered.

For those of you who are in no way enlightened by that, here's the story:

Last night, my older bro calls and says he wants to talk shop with me. Zach is the owner of the voice you'll hear in about 75% of the male characters (and 2% of the female characters) in the upcoming podcast, 'The Phil Innis Adventures.' He's also one of my two primary sources for idea-bouncing and camaraderie. Part of what I've always appreciated about Zach is that he always gives it to me straight. Fishing for compliments will result in a straight-laced "Don't be an idiot." If something I've written is bad, he will tell me that it is bad. Somehow without being a jerk about it, and usually making me bust out laughing at myself.

So, Zach says he wants to talk shop with me, and I readily agree. He came over to ask me some questions about my writing process, which I will more than likely go off on regardless of whether or not anyone wants me to.

Zach is working on a project of his own. Simply because I don't know whether he'd want me to or not, but I won't get into the details. Suffice to say it's in the world of video gameagae, and if anyone is capable of making an instant hit in that realm, it is my brother. I'm excited to see if anything comes of this!

And for my time last night, he gave me a Pokemon Gold, for the DS. I'm counting it as my first consultation commission. Huzzah!!

Also, behold my first painting in many moons:

This is, fate allowing, more or less what the first cover art for 'The Phil Innis Adventures' will look like. Once I have a more comfortable setup, I will likely scan and re-edit it. But I don't think it's too bad, for my first painting in years!

Does Anybody Else Ever Feel Like This?

Well, here am I, true to my word and blogging remarkably soon after my last blurb.

Part of the reason I don't blog as often as others may is...well, I don't want to just get on and ramble about what the green grocer was wearing, or whatever other useless tidbit offended me. Not everyone who has the time and inclination to blog will have the brains or ability to write something interesting every time. So I savor up my brain juice and try to pour it all out at once. I'm not entirely sure what that says in correlation to my very limited posting up to this point, but...let's move on.

Every once in a while, I start to feel down on myself. Now, before you hurry to click away to a less emo blog, don't worry! There will be no likening my life to raucous music or tips on properly applying eye-makeup with a spoon. For those of you who prefer such mental wanderings...um, go somewhere else.

Anyway, every once in a while, I start to feel down on myself. I'm not entirely sure why. I have my theories, but I've also heard that it's a natural thing. Everyone's mental processes act somewhat like emotional tides. Or rollercoasters, as the case may be. I imagine mine is somewhat like a water coaster.

Moving on.

During these down times, which generally last just a couple of days or so, all of my personal faults rear up in my face. What I see is ugly and embittering. I get frustrated by how little I've accomplished, and feel like even on a good day I barely make a dent in the work I have ahead of me if I'm to reach my goals. One day goes by when I can't write, draw, paint, or even plot anything. And I start to worry that all of these things I've got planned are just going to be unfinished bits that go out with the years, leaving nothing but a bad taste in my mouth.

I rarely discuss these feelings with anyone because, quite frankly, I don't want to sound like that spoon-makeup person a few paragraphs back. And deep down, I know how ridiculous these thoughts are. Any one person can accomplish any one thing if they truly put in their all, and haven't done anything to agitate karma. And even if the progress is slow, at least I know what I want to do. Some people don't realize their dreams, much less start chipping away at them, until they're much further along in life.

So what to do with all of the negativity? I'm not a very social person by nature; never have been. So I don't have a herd of groupies to call over to sit around telling me how AWEsome I am. Nor do I think I would particularly enjoy that. I also hate spending the time I do have with the people that matter to me by whining about how off-put I've made myself.

So usually, I take matters into my own hands. I get some exercise. I watch films or tv shows I like a lot. I day-dream. I hang out with people who make me laugh. I don't dig any deeper into the insecurity pool than I absolutely must just to find the plug, pull it, and make the dark sludgy stuff sink away.

And then, at the first opportunity, I get back to work.

Does anybody else go through this?

Shoebox Valentines

Hey everyone :) Sorry this is a few days late, but I've been a wee bit busy. Bakeries do that around holidays where it's traditional but time-consuming to send loved ones edible gifts.

I hope you all had a happy Valentine's Day. Do you know, I heard someone complaining about how it was a ridiculous holiday. They protested that it only got started because of something called the Valentine's Day Massacre, and the holiday card companies leaped on some random event and turned it into a celebration of lovey-dovey goo-goo money making schemes.

I chuckled not-so-quietly to myself. The misinformation that travels around this watery planet makes for a most amusing evening with nothing better to do than trawl around on the internet.

In fact, there has been more than one 'Saint Valentine' throughout recorded history. The first one popped up a long, long time ago, before the calendar had even reached quadruple digits. None of the originals had anything to do with romance outright, that much is true. But the heart-throb aspect of the holiday was adopted long before Hallmark started making cheap, sappy movies. When Courtly Love was popular (that means professions of deep emotion, hand kisses, noble deeds, and an honor-bound lack of hanky-panky) some king decided to write fanfiction accounts about one of the original Saint Valentine's.

You see, the original story, as best we have it, is that Saint Valentine (the one in question) was captured by a Pagan dude. The Pagan dude thought Saint Valentine was the bomb. So he tried to convert the Saint out of Christianity, in order to save Valentine from being sentenced to death for...well, being a Christian. But Valentine was all, 'No, how about YOU convert to Christianity, yo?'*

So Valentine was sentenced to death. But before he died, he performed a miracle by curing the blindness of his jailer's daughter.

Years later, Ye Olde Kinge of the Courtly Love era decided to make a subtle change. Now, the story reads that in his last moments Saint Valentine sent out a love letter. Often the letter is sent to the jailer's daughter (remember the blind one?).

And so, with a slight twist, history acquired a new love-based holiday. It wasn't until centuries later that a bunch of gangsters committed a small but still technically mass-murder against a bunch of other gangsters in what would come to be known as the Valentine's Day Massacre. The Hallmark cards were once handmade, and the sentiments weren't always so mechanically manufactures, but the idea of spreading love on V-Day is older than anyone's great-great-great-grandparents can remember.

So, again, forgive me for the late update. But I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day anyhow, and continue to do so in the coming years!

Also, as a side-note, I'm now going to try and post AT LEAST once a week. I'll also be starting up a vlog, probably on the same basis. See you then!



*The exchange may not have used these words exactly

Tantrum Time!

The title is not referring to a tantrum thrown by me. Well, maybe, depending on how you look at it. But here we go!

An interesting tantrum from a customer got me thinking. He was making a big deal about which danish he got, wanting the biggest one. In my professional eye, they were all the same size, but that hardly mattered. When we finally got him squared away, he gave me a mournful pout and said, "You don't really care which one I want, do you?"


My response at the time was to chuckle and say "They pay me to care," which is both partially true and a good way to appease the whiners.

But as days passed, I couldn't get the question out of my head. "You don't really care what I want, do you?"

The truth is: Of course I don't! And if we're really honest with ourselves, it would be creepy if I did!

Can you imagine what sort of backwards world we'd live in if customer service reps had the demeanor they do in the commercials? No family life, no goals, no interests outside of how many fish specials they can hawk out to the twinkling lights of their lives: the customers.

It would be like the marketplace the Stepford Wives shop at. Any personal trauma or loss of limb would be easily programmed away. If the C.C.R. doesn't achieve their goal of measuring out, pricing and packaging the customer's products PERFECTLY, they self destruct. Life is not living if you can't magically pull out exactly what the crotchety dude in loafers wants, whether or not it's been sold out for hours!

Is that really how the average customer wants to shop? Indentured robotics in aprons and uniforms? I seem to recall a time when some stranger taking a deep interest in what you've got going on was cause for a search warrant and arrest. Whatever happened to a simple, "Hello, I would like that one, Thank you, Have a nice day?" There's nothing wrong with responding to other humans with, dare I say it, basic human contact. Even if one of you is being paid to stand behind a counter.

So, no, I really don't care what my customers want. Or how they want it. Or what they're going to do with it. And that is the greatest gift I can give to someone I don't know.

Jenni out.